Does my attitude affect the team? Get to know your Mental Game
Sean Gaffney - Soccer Notes
Feedback or Not
Does my feedback help or hurt the team? We all have different behavioral styles and ways of expressing ourselves. How do we learn to give the right kind of feedback to teammates? Do you know when your feedback is helpful and when it is not?
Frustration!
When we react to events in the heat of a game, we usually react instinctively. Our individual behavioral styles (something you can learn about with the our DISC profile) in combination with our emotions determine how we act. This combination is a powerful force, and unless we have trained ourselves to understand our style and to manage our emotions, we are at the mercy of our habits, for better or worse.
I was reminded about this in a recent game. I was playing well, working hard, focused on the play, attacking the goal and creating opportunities to score. After several mistakes by teammates, I got frustrated and started to let it show.
I let my negative feedback fly, adding to the worsening team atmosphere that was already getting tight and restricted. People began playing very stiff, uncreative soccer. What was the state of our Mental Game?
With no voices of positive reinforcement to balance the strong negative feedback loop that was being created, we were creating the perfect atmosphere for failure. Even though we were able to finish with a win, we did not enjoy the game and left the field without our usual camaraderie and high spirits.
I often pride myself on my sportsmanship and positive attitude on the field, but I was genuinely upset and was letting my defenders and midfielders know it. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. They needed to get their act together and I felt like telling them all about it. But was that really helping the situation?
We were playing a team that we could not afford to give any room, and it was a difficult battle for all of us. I shrugged off the initial requests to "be more positive," feeling justified in "encouraging" my teammates with harsh and untimely advice.
The Coach Steps In
It took our coach pulling me aside and commenting on my behavior to help me see what was happening. While there were changes that needed to be made, we had our best team on the field and needed at that moment to relax and support each other, regain our composure and relieve the pressure that had been created by the mistakes. To put it simply, our players needed encouragement and I was being far from encouraging. I had slipped into bad habits and had lost track of my Mental Game.
How often have you seen this happen? Negative feedback can be targeted at our teammates or ourselves (negative self-talk), and it rarely helps the situation to improve. How do we create habits of positive self-talk and appropriate feedback to teammates?
Making Changes
The first step to making a change is noticing that there is something that needs to change. We must first learn to recognize our behavior. Watch yourself. Notice how you speak to yourself after mistakes. How do you speak to your teammates? Are you able to be the type of player that you would want on your team? Be honest.
If there is room for improvement in this arena, make it a goal to be an encouraging and positive influence on the team. Many players play better when they are mad, but we need to balance our better play with the overall health of the team. Focus on this before practice and games and notice how it affects your experience of the game and the team atmosphere. Can you be more positive and still be competitive? Try it out and see. Can you channel that anger toward an appropriate target that will actually help improve the chances of winning?
Become a student of your mental game. Notice the things that you do. The more that you can see yourself, the better you will get at making the changes that you need to make to succeed.
For more information about our system of developing the whole Mental Game, our Mental Game Profiles, and our Mental Game coaching services, please visit us at www.6dsports.com. Thanks, and have fun!
Sean Gaffney
CPBA, CPVA, Certified Sports Axiologist
Six Dimensions Sports Consulting